October 28, 2005

ARGH!

Nothing quite like cleaning the garbage out of your wallet and then stumbling across a small post-it of baby names that you and your ex had worked out over 4 years ago, proceeding to rush to the paper shredder and then realizing she bought you the damn wallet.

Anyone know where I can get a new wallet?

Posted by sgowell at 07:56 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 13, 2005

Sense Memory

They say that the sense of smell is the sense most directly correlated to memory, and I would like to share a memory that was just triggered while at work.

I receive an email, that one co-worker has brought back some treats from a recent trip to New Mexico, and that there is some for everyone in the break room. I proceed to the break room to find 4 kinds of Fudge layed out on a plate. Now many people might think, "Wow, that was nice, ooh and tasty too". What I thought once the smell wafted over to me was deep regret, and a feeling of waste.

And now I feel sick. A shame too since today was proving to be a nice day.

Posted by sgowell at 03:19 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 01, 2005

Commence Fetal Position

Work ... Work ... Work ...
Politics ... Politics ... Politics ...
Stress ... Stress ... Stress ...
Paranoia ... Paranoia ... Paranoia ...

"Here's the part where Cameron goes berserk. ---FBDO"

Posted by sgowell at 03:41 PM

July 27, 2005

Perfect start to the Perfect Day

Got passed on the median by a Motorcycle coming in to work this morning. His bike threw up a piece of cement about as large as my fist and now there is a gash on the left side of my car. I was moving around another car at the time, so I couldn't avoid it. Even while passing I don't drive fast enough for these fuckers.

Posted by sgowell at 06:55 AM

May 25, 2005

The guy on TV said 50% chance of something...

How is it possible that I am filled with the desire to help and provide for someone, but still feel so helpless and wanting?

Posted by sgowell at 09:46 AM

May 24, 2005

So...'Big Things' this year?

  1. Move out - I will turn 24 this year, and as much as I love my parents, I need to get out of here.
  2. Find someone - I will turn 24 this year, and I will be damned if I am going to spend any more of it alone than I have to.
  3. Take a Vacation - I am scheduled to have from July 2nd to July 12th off. I think it is time for me to take *the trip*
  4. Stop Wasting Time - I have a fair amount of free time that I can do something much more important during that simply sitting around and doing nothing.
  5. Save Money - Everything else on this list will be at least partly conditional on having disposable income.
Just to let everyone know, everything with my work situation is fine. We are all in the process of working on some things in order to make everyone happy, and that was really all that I could ask for.

Posted by sgowell at 01:14 PM

May 03, 2005

If I just had the time...

What I wouldn't give for just a few extra usable hours in the day.

Posted by sgowell at 09:56 AM

April 25, 2005

I hate to be off-putting but...

Why must everyone constantly put on airs when even when engaging in mature dialogue? Have we as a culture become so hypersensitive as to not be able to handle anything anymore?

What a shame. If this is what is to become of us, then I weep for the future.

Posted by sgowell at 08:53 AM

April 07, 2005

Must be Thursday

Went to Wal-Mart and returned with:

12 Pack Chicken Ramen
48 oz. Gummi Bears
1 Month Rx of Antidepressants

Yay for Cymbalta - Cures depression and causes anorexia. Here's to being happy and getting skinny.

Posted by sgowell at 09:52 PM | Comments (0)

April 06, 2005

No Bart, that would be playing God.

God Schmod. I want my Monkey Man!

Posted by sgowell at 04:18 PM

April 04, 2005

I am just so sick of being Cameron Frye....

Posted by sgowell at 09:57 AM

March 29, 2005

Read my mind...

Tired of waiting,
Tired of watching,
Negotiating,
Parading around.

Now you know that the girls are just making it up,
Now you know that the boys are just pushing their luck,
Now you know that my ride doesn't really exist,
And my name's not really on that list.

Can you tell that I'm planning prevenge?
Read my mind, yes, I'm planning prevenge,
At the freak show,
In the front row,
Mi amigo,
Lost in the sound.

Posted by sgowell at 10:14 AM

I should be allowed to think.

I was the worst hope of my generation
Destroyed by madness, starving, hysterical
I should be allowed to share my feelings
I should be allowed to feel


I should be allowed to glue my poster
I should be allowed to think
I should be allowed to think
I should be allowed to think
And I should be allowed to blurt the merest idea
If by random whim one occurs to me
But sadly, this can never be

I am not allowed to think
I am not allowed to think
I am not allowed to think (I am not allowed to think)
I am not allowed to think (I am not allowed to think)
I am not allowed to think (I am not allowed to think)
I am not allowed to think (I am not allowed to think)

Posted by sgowell at 07:31 AM

INNW?

The first few steps of being productive involves you getting off of your ass and doing what you need to do. I have been lax in that department for a while now, and nothing I can say can excuse that.

Things I've needed to do for a while:

Posted by sgowell at 07:15 AM

March 24, 2005

Well, there goes that.

No worries folks, Self-Confidence just went down the crapper as well.

**Update**
AND WE'RE BACK!!!!

Spilled some stuff on my pants during a quick lunch break, and ran to Meijer to pick up some other ones. Didn't want to buy any more slacks but I came across a nice pair of Carpenter pants. As it turns out they were 40x32, a size I haven't been able to fit in since high school. And they fit comfortably.

Posted by sgowell at 01:26 PM

March 23, 2005

Ponder for me

How can my feelings of self-confidence be at an all-time high, whereas my feelings of self-worth be at an all-time low?

Posted by sgowell at 07:51 AM

March 22, 2005

Eustress and Distress Both

My ability to handle the various stressors imposed upon me on a daily basis has been lacking of late. I have done things out of character for me, and I have done things that only weeks ago I would have found both morally reprehensible, and socially unacceptable. I have hurt people, and I have also been painfully truthful to people I care a great deal about.

Some major life decisions are on the horizon, so I will do my best to keep everyone informed. But the scariest part is, I am 23 years old, I am an adult, and ultimately, it is up to me.

Posted by sgowell at 07:45 AM

March 08, 2005

The Cheat is Overwhelmed....

I knew it wouldn't last.

Posted by sgowell at 09:20 AM | Comments (0)

March 07, 2005

*Song of the Moment*

The Seatbelts - Gotta Knock a Little Harder

Posted by sgowell at 03:49 PM | Comments (0)

March 03, 2005

I think it's going to be a good day.

I don't know what happened this morning, but I am in a particularly good mood today.

Times are tough all around, I understand that I am not the only one experiencing some relationship difficulties (I hope things go better for you soon Ginger!), some people are in a state of worry (It will all work out Charlie!).

Life is harsh some times, but at least I don't have Cataplexy.

**Update**
I am super productive today! I got 2 projects finished before lunchtime.

Posted by sgowell at 09:32 AM | Comments (0)

March 02, 2005

Cellar Door

Just watched Donnie Darko for the first time. I was pretty impressed. It was the director's cut, so I don't know if makes any difference. It's a "Mad World" I guess.

Posted by sgowell at 07:30 PM | Comments (0)

February 25, 2005

February is almost over

... and you have no idea how happy that makes me. This has not been my month. I am trying very hard to figure some things out in my life. I am trying to see what kind of person I really am. I have been keeping my "shields up" for I don't know how long (like a decade), and I am finally pushing through my self-imposed barrier [I guess E Scott does 3 damage (sic)]. I believe that this will help me find out what is going on in my trivia-addled mind. No slip-ups yet, but no answers yet either.

I really feel like an empty shell of a man, and I can't begin to describe how it has affected me. I am still very much in love, and I am still very much in pain. I know this is going to be hard, but I think that we will be strong enough to get through it, no matter what the difficulties. Does anybody read these? Does anybody care? I wish I had different Medical Insurance. I really need to talk with somebody. But hey, at least I remembered to get my meds refilled, and I am doing a hell of a lot better than that damn deer.

Posted by sgowell at 02:16 PM | Comments (0)